Didn’t go to plan……

Raising kids on the spectrum is never planned, I can’t say it is ever wanted by me or any parent. Nobody wakes up one day and says I want to raise kids that have issues, mental, physical or otherwise. This was never the dream for me or the thousands of parents out there raising kids like this. We all had the perfect life dream, but In reality the the perfect life, 2.5 kids with white picket fence, the dog and happy ever after didn’t go according to plan.

So we switch dreams, grieve the life we won’t have and move forward. Into a world of pure chaos and total order. Each day changes and we hope like hell that its going to be a good day. Each day we get up with a 50 -50 shot that our dream of a good day becomes a reality. When it does we thank the universe for a day that we can cherish. When it doesn’t, we hold on tight for we know by the end of the day we just want everyone to make it out alive.

It may sound grim but you can never be fully prepared to be a parent of any kind. Spectrum kids have great highs and extreme lows that no matter how long you have been existing in this world it can take you by surprise and knock you on your arse. Wondering where did that new thing come from, sometimes you really don’t see the subtle changes coming.

But at the end of the day the plan changed, the mother I thought I wanted to be and the mother I am changed. You know what happens to plan don’t you………

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