Dating has changed from the last time I dated, we no longer go to clubs, pubs, parties or lounges trawling to meet people for dates, fucks or both. Its not the done thing anymore to meet someone face to face and have a conversation. With this online world we are thrown into a modern version of speed dating, thus being dating sites and the mine field that it is. Dating is hard at the best of times let alone after such a long time with the one person, then add into the mix, running a house, 2 kids and work. When are you supposed to find the time to have a life and talk to another adult about anything that’s not PG rated. To have dinner company that doesn’t involve having batman eat your dinner while you watch sponge bob square pants on repeat while having the kids scream at each other because one looked at the other the wrong way.
We all love our kids and want what’s best for them but as adults we need to be happy to. Happy mums and dads make better parents, part of this happiness is having adult company, for friends, lovers or partners. It doesn’t matter which makes us happy as long as we are, at the end of the day we all deserve it. We make play dates for our kids but not our selves, essentially that’s what dating is, just an adult version of a play date. So why aren’t we scheduling in these for our selves, why are we making it more complicated than needs to be. Why are we letting society dictate what we do or how we do it. Yes I am MUM, but did you know I am person too and I was before I became a mum. Like all parents we are more than just parents, we are human, yes we have feelings, yes we want to love and live and do it all. Being a parent does not mean losing ourselves along the way, part of being human means sharing ourselves with others no matter what sharing means to us. Dating is still such a taboo subject for single parents, yes granted its better than what it used to be but jeepers just cos I have kids doesn’t mean I cant date. As long as our kids are taken care of, then who gives a flying crap if we date.
Then theirs the perils of being on a date now because the rules have all changed, the social etiquette is different. The world has changed and so has the way we date, from getting the date to being on the date and that’s not even the first date which is hard enough. With the shift in mentality because of the ever changing world every thing else is playing catch up and having to adapt. What was acceptable is no longer and things that weren’t now are. These changes are things like blind dates, basically being fixed up by our friends or family, its not done anymore. Who pays on the date, its is not socially normal for the man to pay for the date, it is now acceptable to go Dutch, where both parties pay. First dates are coffee or drinks no longer taken out to dinner. Ladies drive them selves to dates and meet there, we don’t give our address out and get picked up. These adjustments can be hard to get used to when you haven’t been in the game for a while, but alas evolving is what humans do best. The only thing left to do is to ones self out there and hang on for the ride.